Last Sunday, the first Sunday after my retirement, Cindy and I went to Christ Lutheran Church which just happens to be maybe 5 blocks from our home. That was convenient. The following comments are no reflection on Christ Lutheran.
I paid attention to how I was feeling and learned a few things. I found I was on edge at the beginning anyway. I don't believe it was because I wasn't up front. I felt - don't get noticed, who are these strangers, could we fit in here. I was almost shaking. Is this how church shoppers feel? If so no wonder they don't stay around for fellowship coffee. They just want out. Cindy and I left right after worship. We made no attempt to make a personal contact with anyone.
It happened to be the last Sunday of their interim. He was great. It was also the VBS Sunday so the kids sang a few songs. They were great also. I found I was feeling a bit more relaxed then. Then the children's sermon by the interim. He did a wonderful job but like me had to work at keeping control over the situation.
There were only a few songs I knew. That makes a difference. In some ways I was simply observing. When there were some familiar songs I got involved. But even during the spoken liturgy I was distant. I really don't have words for it.
It certainly was a different experience. We decided to look some more not because we couldnt be happy there but we wanted to look around. Maybe we would end up worshiping where our daughters family worship.
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